Energy Vampires by Dr. Christie Smirl

Are there people in your life that exhaust and drain you, leaving you feeling frustrated, manipulated and bewildered? Consider that you may be dealing with an energy vampire. At first glance this term may seem silly or fantastical, but if you have experienced the phenomenon of an energy vampire, the description is spot on. In this article I want to illustrate ways to identify the presentation, signs and symptoms of an energy vampire and offer practical ways to protect your energy.
An energy vampire is a person who consciously or unconsciously wants your emotional or psychic energy. They often start gradually, then demand more and more of your attention and time. The flow of your energy becomes vacuumed through a one way street with little to no energy reciprocation. They can be anybody in your life: a friend, family member, lover, coworker, neighbor or just an acquaintance. Energy vampires have unique and complex energy currencies that they desire. They often prey on and drain your time, energy, advice, protection, love, affection, sexual energy, sympathy and life prana. Many times they insidiously invade your home life, work life and social networks in an attempt to keep your energy currency flowing in their direction. Energy vampires leave you feeling fatigued, exhausted, invaded, taken advantage of, manipulated, defensive, angry, anxious or depressed.

Energy vampires are often very nice, charming and well meaning people, but they lack the insight to see what they are doing. People who display energy vampire traits often lack empathy, emotional intelligence, self esteem or social maturity. They typically harbor deep pain and insecurity and are truely in need of help from others to heal their inner suffering. Unfortunately, once they latch on they become addicted to your energy currency, demanding more and more until you reach a critical breaking point. When you try to set boundaries and time limitations with these individuals in order to regather and center your own energy, they may pout, sulk, throw a tantrum, blackmail you, guilt trip you, become passive aggressive, verbally abusive, threaten suicide, become stalkers, deny their behaviors, become violent or emotionally unstable. They may point the finger at you and blame you for their problems, emotions and behaviors to guilt and bait you back into an incessant energy tug of war.

Not all energy vampires mean you harm. Many truly need a shoulder to lean on, an ear to bend, advice and support or good direction. Well meaning people will recognize their draining tendancies and respect your boundaries once realized. The important thing is to let them know that you can not solve all their problems or be their only source of energy input.

That being said, BEWARE, some energy vampires DO mean you harm. Signs of a conscious energy vampire may include gift giving, sharing deep dark secrets, ego stroking, flattery, asking unusual favors, making pacts, unwelcomed repetitive casual touching, luring you into uncomfortable situations, uncomfortable conversations, time manipulation, secret agreements, keeping you hostage on a pedestal, backhanded insults, social manipulation, lies, attempts to isolate you or turn you against others… the list goes on. The signs can be missed at first, but typically leave you feeling like somethings not quite right. They start small then systematically make it harder for you to step back or step away.

What do you do once you realize an energy vampire is in your life?

  • Protect yourelf and set boundaries.
  • Tell them they are draining you and overstepping your boundaries.
  • Tell them which behaviors or actions you will no longer accept.
  • Stop, limit or correct the type of energy you provide them.
  • Do not try to fix them.
  • Stand up for yourself.
  • Communicate your time constraints.
  • Set physical boundaries.
  • Set social boundaries.
  • Eliminate ties, pacts or agreements where appropriate.
  • Tell others about the situation and ask for back up if needed.
  • Beware and prepare for them to demonstrate adverse reactions.
  • Recoup and re-establish your energy field.

Remember that many people are unaware when they are being energy vampires. Most people mean no harm, they just do not know better. Be patient, be kind, be strong and protect yourself.

If you want more education visit for a list of upcoming classes, webinars and wellness certifications.

DR Christie Smirl Healthier Vibrations.jpg

Dr. Christie Smirl has over 25 years of medical experience. She completed a Doctorate of Ayurvedic Medicine from American University of Complimentary Medicine plus a Master of Science degree and Nurse Practitioner from Loma Linda University. Dr. Christie is also an E-RYT 500 Yoga Teacher Trainer, YACEP, Reiki Master/Teacher, Tantric Energy Healer and Musician.

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